Find Trusted Providers Offering Online Emotionally Focused Therapy

What is EFT?

Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, Emotionally Focused Therapy attempts to understand couples' conflicts. Research shows that these conflicts usually arise out of fairly predictable patterns of interaction. These unhelpful patterns can lead to distance in relationships. For example, the behavior may involve you needing to yell at your partner because they repeatedly leave the dishes unwashed. While this behavior may seem relatively trivial, it can indicate an unmet emotional need.

This is where Emotionally Focused Therapy comes in. It is an attachment-based intervention based on the scientific study of adult intimate relationships. It recognizes and conceptualizes the rigid and negative patterns of interaction that can lead to conflict between couples. Rather than focusing on tangible achievements that couples can walk away with, EFT focuses on unfulfilled emotional needs. And while this can be frustrating for those involved, it can produce long-term results.

An EFT therapist not only talks about behaviors and actions but emphasizes what can be causing such behaviors. They analyze the root cause of, for instance, yelling or withdrawing in relationships and what exactly leads to distance. To help those in treatment increase security, closeness, and connection in intimate relationships, therapists who provide emotionally focused therapy typically work with couples and families to help create secure, enduring bonds between intimate partners and family members. They also help reinforce any preexisting positive bonds.

What are the Benefits?

This treatment approach benefits couples, families, and friends. These include:

Serves multiple purposes: EFT can help people who suffer emotional distress in their relationships. This applies to associations with their partners, friends, or family members.

Better emotional functioning: This treatment focuses on key actions and events that characterize an adult love relationship and gives a language for healthy partner dependency. The primary objective is to expand and restructure the emotional reactions of couples. This can also be applied to other relationships.

Stronger bonds: EFT is founded on attachment theory. It suggests that interpersonal relationships frequently serve as a safe haven—a place to escape the outside world and find solace, security, and a stress-reduction mechanism.

Increased awareness of interpersonal needs: This therapy aids individuals in better understanding their partners' needs. Because of this awareness, people can listen and talk about issues from a place of empathy rather than from a position of hostility or defense. It can also lead to better bonds among friends and family.

Enhanced interpersonal skills: This treatment approach helps you express emotions in a way that you connect, rather than disconnect, with your partner, friends, and family members. You'll learn new skills for paying attention to and listening to the feelings of others, as well as find more effective methods for handling emotional situations.

Common Techniques

The techniques used in EFT can be mapped in nine steps across three stages. The strategies used throughout the three stages can guide the therapist and track progress.

• Stage 1 - De-escalation: This occurs during the first four steps of therapy. This step focuses on recognizing interaction patterns that can induce conflict, identifying negative feelings associated with attachment problems, and rephrasing these problems. Due to this technique, those involved can more clearly identify how their anxieties and insecurities might harm their relationship. Unwanted behaviors (such as shutting down or escalating anger) start to be perceived, recognized, and labeled as "protests of disconnection." Those involved develop the ability to be emotionally open, sympathetic, and connected with one another, which strengthens their attachment relationship and sense of safety.
• Stage 2 - Restructuring: During this phase, each person involved can express their emotions, acceptance, and compassion. This step enables each person involved to become more receptive to the needs of the other. The procedure aims to lessen disagreements while strengthening emotional connections. The people involved in the relationship can develop the skill to ask for what they need and to express their deep, underlying emotions from a place of vulnerability.
• Stage 3 - Consolidation: The third step involves a therapist working with those involved to develop new communication techniques and practice interactional skills. Through this process, one can see how they have been able to adapt and how new communication styles reduce conflict. New sequences of bonding interactions replace old, harmful patterns like "pursue-withdraw" or "criticize-defend."
  
  Then, these fresh, uplifting cycles reinforce one another and bring about long-lasting improvement. The relationship develops into a safe refuge and therapeutic setting for the people involved.

What Conditions Can it Help Treat?

Couples with difficulty communicating effectively and dealing with conflict can benefit from this treatment approach. While EFT is frequently used in couples therapy to treat conditions causing conflict, it also works well in individual and family therapy. Some conditions that this therapy can address to help couples include:

• Addiction: Negative patterns can make individuals vulnerable to addiction and substance use. Through Emotionally Focused Therapy, negative patterns can be addressed, and addiction can be replaced by forming a healthy emotional connection with a loved one.
• Infidelity: Infidelity can be destructive to any relationship. It can tear the bonds of trust and love and obstruct emotive communication. Yet, this treatment approach focuses on the emotional consequences of infidelity rather than the act of betrayal. The EFT therapist will seek to create experiences in sessions that will facilitate repairing the attachment bonds and assist the couple in dealing with these breaches.
• This treatment aims to enhance attachment behaviors that will help the troubled relationship. To promote communication and trust between couples, the therapist will help them recognize and understand their underlying feelings and develop healthy interacting techniques.
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD can numb a person and hinder the expression of emotions. However, this treatment approach prioritizes the processing of emotions, enabling the couple to convey emotions clearly.
• Eating Disorders: Similar to many maladaptive behaviors, eating disorders can develop from an inability to manage distressing and complex emotions in a relationship. Through EFT, emotional dysregulation can be addressed effectively, thereby having a positive impact on interpersonal connections.
• Depression: This condition can restrain the effective processing of emotions and experiences. However, this treatment approach creates a safe environment to process these emotions and reduce the avoidance associated with distressing feelings. This can help heal a relationship.
• Chronic Illnesses: When a chronic illness first appears, patients and their romantic partners go through adverse psychological reactions. There is little doubt that dealing with chronic health issues requires patients and their romantic partners to compromise on their interactions and experiences. However, this treatment approach normalizes and affirms the experiences of both partners. A chronic illness diagnosis is a very stressful, unfortunate life event. But through this treatment, each partner's sentiments can be acknowledged, expanded upon, and reprocessed. It is therapeutic, normalizes the response to chronic diseases, and helps the couple cope with their circumstances.

Additionally, as family therapy, this treatment approach has proven beneficial in increasing attachment and a sense of belonging among family members. It can resolve conflicts within the family, increase acceptance and compassion toward the emotions of others, and ease the flow of communication. This can make it easier to express personal needs and desires healthily and positively.

Get Counseling from a Trusted Therapist With DocVita

Emotionally focused therapy can be difficult since it involves examining the unfavorable feelings and recurring patterns that lead to relationship disputes. Emotions that are unpleasant or intense may arise during the therapeutic process itself. So, it is crucial to be patient and not get overwhelmed. Additionally, each person must take part in the process. The treatment might be less effective if one person is less willing to participate.

So, finding a therapist to ensure the best treatment outcome is crucial. A good and trusted provider is sympathetic and assists couples in realizing that their feelings are valid. They assist individuals and couples in identifying patterns and behaviors that they might not even be aware of and understand how these acts contribute to conflict in a relationship. And at DocVita, we can connect you with a specialist who will check all these boxes. All you need to do is visit our website and book your first session today!