Losing someone is unimaginably the most unfathomable grief that can cripple a person. Knowing what to expect in this duration, how to cope better, and, more importantly, how to navigate through this period while staying afloat is necessary to heal effectively.
A loss can come in many forms. You might’ve suffered the loss of a loved one, lost your job, or experienced a failed relationship. All this accounts for a sense of loss in you, which can temporarily make you feel lost and hopeless. The loss of a person, a pet, or a relationship are all valid and require different approaches to healing. There is no fixed tenure to “get over” or a set date when you’ll suddenly start to feel all better. But the good news is, time does help in making you come to terms with the situation and continue to live even with the absence of the one you lost. You might feel deprived of hope or lost but know that you are not alone in this healing process.
The foremost thing in the healing process is to come to terms with it. Acknowledge what has happened and how it has affected you. Indeed, things from hereon would not be the same again. And you should not beat yourself up for pining for a long time or wanting things to go back to the way they were. This is a natural thing to feel and a very understandable part of the entire healing process, which you must allow yourself to go through to feel all fine.
Grief is a paralyzing feeling. Although it has been contested that no single person feels lost in the same way or goes through it in a similar pattern, some key blueprints of stages are marked to define the different waves of emotions we may go through. Be aware that these are not hard-wired standpoints; you may experience the different stages in any order. It is also very possible to switch multiple times between these stages until the final healing has been processed.
Continue reading to learn more!
Will I Ever Feel Better?
Some common emotions that people may experience when grieving include sadness, loneliness, anger, guilt, and confusion. These feelings can be intense and overwhelming, and it’s important to allow yourself to feel and process them in your own way.
Taking care of yourself during the grieving process is also crucial. This can include getting enough rest, eating nutritious food, staying hydrated, and exercising. Engaging in activities you enjoy, like reading, listening to music, or spending time with friends, can also help you cope.
Seeking support is also essential when grieving. This can come from friends, family, or a support group. Talking to a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in helping you process your emotions and work through your grief.
Remember, grieving is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, and know that healing is possible with time, self-care, and support.
Read on to know about the different stages of grief.
The Different Stages
There is no set time frame for grieving; everyone experiences it differently. The intensity and duration can be influenced by various factors, such as the type of loss, the individual’s personality, coping style, and support network.
It’s essential to allow yourself the time and space to grieve and not compare your grieving process to others. Everyone’s journey is unique and valid. As time passes, the intensity of grief typically lessens, and it becomes easier to experience moments of happiness and joy alongside feelings of sadness. While the pain of the loss may never completely go away, over time, most people can adjust to their new reality and return to their daily lives.
Grief can often be experienced in different phases or stages as individuals come to terms with their loss. These phases are not necessarily linear and can happen in any order or timeframe, and some individuals may not experience all of them. Some common phases include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It can be helpful to understand the reasons behind your feelings during the grieving process, as this can help you to process your emotions and work through your grief. This can also help individuals to be more compassionate with themselves and others during this difficult time.
Stage 1 – Denial
Denial is often the initial emotional response to a significant loss, as the mind struggles to accept the reality of what has happened. This can manifest as a sense of shock, numbness, or disbelief as the mind attempts to cope with the overwhelming emotions associated with the loss. Denial can be a helpful coping mechanism in the short term, as it allows individuals to gradually come to terms with their loss in their own time. However, it’s important to recognize that denial is a temporary stage and that, eventually, individuals will need to confront and process their emotions to move forward.
Stage 2 – Anger
As the reality of the loss sets in and individuals begin to process their emotions, they may feel frustrated, helpless, and overwhelmed by the pain of their loss. This can lead to feelings of anger, which may be directed toward other people, a higher power, or life in general. Anger can be a natural response, and it’s essential to recognize that it’s okay to feel angry about the loss of a loved one or other significant loss. But finding healthy ways to express and process these emotions is crucial. These could include talking to a trusted friend or family member, journaling, or engaging in physical activity.
Stage 3 – Bargaining
During this stage, individuals may begin to dwell on what they could have done to prevent the loss or what they could do to change the situation. This can manifest as thoughts like “If only I had done this differently” or “What if I had made a different choice?” It’s also important to recognize that bargaining is not a productive way to cope with grief in the long term and that, eventually, individuals will need to move towards acceptance and find healthy ways to process their emotions.
Stage 4 – Depression
As the reality of the loss sets in and individuals begin to process their emotions, they may feel overwhelmed by sadness, regret, and loneliness. This can lead to symptoms of depression, such as crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. Find healthy ways to cope with these feelings and seek support if depression becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with the ability to function in daily life. This may include talking to a trusted friend or family member, engaging in self-care activities like exercise or meditation, or seeking support from a mental health professional or support group. It’s important to remember that depression is treatable and that help is available for those who need it.
Stage 5 – Acceptance
Individuals come to accept the reality of their loss and begin to process their emotions more productively. While they may still feel sad and experience moments of grief, they can start moving forward with their lives and finding ways to adapt to the changes brought about by the loss.
It’s essential to recognize that these stages are not always linear or clear-cut and that individuals may move back and forth as they process their emotions. The grieving process is unique to each individual and may take different amounts of time depending on various factors.
It’s also important to remember that acceptance does not necessarily mean an individual has “gotten over” their loss or forgotten about their loved one. Instead, it means that they have found a way to live with the loss and incorporate it into their lives in a meaningful way.
What is Complicated Grief?
Complicated grief is a type of grief that can occur when the feelings of loss and sadness are particularly intense or prolonged. It can also happen when other factors complicate the grieving process, such as a complex relationship with the person who has passed away, unresolved conflicts or emotions, or a history of trauma or mental health issues.
People experiencing complicated grief may find it challenging to function in their daily lives, struggling with feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or anger that are difficult to resolve. They may also experience physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, or loss of appetite.
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Is There a “Normal” Amount of Time to Grieve?
Grief is a highly individual experience, and there is no set timeline or duration for the grieving process. For some individuals, the initial shock and intensity may last for weeks or months, while others might experience a more prolonged and gradual grieving process lasting for years.
It’s also common for grief to come and go in waves, with periods of intense emotion followed by periods of relative calm or acceptance. This is normal and does not mean that an individual is “stuck” or is not progressing toward healing.
It’s important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the grieving process and to seek support from loved ones, mental health professionals, or support groups if needed. Over time, the intensity of grief will typically begin to lessen, and individuals will find new ways to cope with their loss and move forward with their lives.
People who experience common grief may experience improvements in symptoms after about six months, but the symptoms largely resolve in about 1 to 2 years. This can be considered a baseline for what the grieving timeline can look like. Still, sometimes you may wonder if it is possible to grieve for too long. But psychotherapists say that there is no set timeline for grieving. You can take a lifetime to grieve if you need to.
Healing and Reconnecting
The important thing here is to drop off all the judgment or prejudice you have against yourself. Be patient with yourself and let no one else define how long you should feel certain emotions. Process things at your own pace and take this time to redirect focus on yourself and your well-being.
To come out of the grieving period doesn’t mean you stop caring for or missing the lost person altogether. But it is to be able to see hope in life once again, gain that focus, the ability to do things, socialize, or find the energy to return to your hobbies.
The road to recovery lies in reconnecting with your past hobbies, which used to ignite contentment. You can also take this opportunity to feel closer to others, especially those friends or family who have provided you with immense support and care during this time. And although the loss was indeed significant, try to look for the new friendships or companionships that this challenging time showed you. This can come in the form of a co-worker or a neighbor who unexpectedly reached out but made all the difference.
How Can I Cope?
Some effective methods to cope are:
- Journaling: Journaling can be a helpful tool. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you sort through and better understand your experiences. It can also be a way to express emotions that you might not feel comfortable sharing with others. In addition to writing about your grief, you could also use journaling to remember and honor the person you’ve lost. You could write about your favorite memories or things you appreciated about them. This can be a way to keep their memory alive and feel a sense of connection to them. There are many ways to approach journaling, so finding what works best for you is crucial. You might choose to write every day or only when you feel particularly overwhelmed or emotional. You could also experiment with different types of writing, such as free writing or using prompts to explore specific themes or emotions.
- Engaging in physical activity: Exercise can be a powerful tool for coping with grief. It helps release endorphins, improving your mood and providing a sense of accomplishment. You don’t have to join a gym or run a marathon. Simple activities like going for a walk, practicing yoga, or gardening can be effective.
- Connecting with others: Grief can be an isolating experience, but it’s essential to communicate with others who understand what you’re going through. This could include attending a support group, joining an online community, or talking with friends and family.
- Getting professional help: If you find that you’re struggling to cope with your grief, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your symptoms and healthily work through your emotions.
- Diet: It may be helpful to try to eat a balanced and nutritious diet to support your physical and emotional health during this time. This can include incorporating fruits and vegetables, lean protein sources, and whole grains into your meals. It may also be helpful to limit or avoid alcohol and processed foods, which can negatively impact your mood and energy levels.
When Should I Seek the Help of a Professional?
Over time, most people learn to cope better with their loss, although the grieving process is rarely linear. Grief can be like a roller coaster, with ups and downs, good days, and bad days. One day, you might feel like you’re making progress and starting to feel better; the next day, you might be hit with a wave of sadness or anger.
But if coping with the loss is becoming increasingly complicated with each passing day, where even the simplest tasks seem like a chore, you can consider seeking professional help.
Through professional support, most people find that they can cope better with their loss and find ways to honor their loved one’s memory while moving forward with their own lives.
Find Support From a Trusted Therapist With DocVita Today!
If you’re experiencing grief, seeking help from a mental health professional or other support services is essential. There are many effective treatments available, such as therapy, support groups, and medication. With the right help and support, it’s possible to manage the intense feelings and move forward healthily.
You can find a therapist who is the right fit for you through DocVita. Start the journey towards healing today.