Signs You’re Having a Midlife Crisis and How to Deal With It

A midlife crisis is when people experience a change in their lives. It is usually related to the loss of something meaningful. It is common in people between 40–60 years of age. It can be due to many factors. These factors can be personal as well as external. People think of change as a critical part of their lives. But it does not mean that change is always desirable or according to one’s liking. A midlife crisis is about reevaluating one’s life. It affects individuals and their immediate surroundings, like their job, relationships and health.

In some parts of the world, there is no concept of a midlife crisis. It leads to the belief that it is only a social construct. Some experts believe that people experience it because of popular notions about it. It might be because people start manifesting a pattern in their 40s and 50s. A pattern that they observe as a response to difficult life situations. Whatever the cause, it is a legitimate concern for many people worldwide.

A midlife crisis is not a disease or a disorder. Doctors cannot measure or quantify it. This means that it is a concept that is loosely agreed upon by health experts. It can stem from different experiences or events, which do not have to be the same for everyone. The American Psychological Association describes it as a “clear and abrupt change in behavior.” The fear of mortality also contributes to this change. It is because, at some point in people’s lives, they become aware of the transitory nature of life. But there is no consistency in the pattern of causes for midlife crises for different people.

The research on this condition depends on people’s responses to the questions about midlife crises. What one defines as a crisis may not be the same as someone else’s. A desire to be young again is usually associated with it. Identifying the signs of a midlife crisis is not a difficult task.

If you struggle over a significant event that has somehow changed you, you might have it there. You might feel directionless and question your purpose. People also long for the bygone days, which they may associate with freedom. Individuals experiencing it may feel like returning to the childish ways of approaching things.

There are other valuable markers to detect midlife crises. These include:

• Weight gain or loss
• Changes in sleep schedule
• Neglect of personal hygiene
• Quick mood swings and mood changes
• Issues with anger, anxiety, and sadness

People going through it may even experience a happiness slump. Many studies show that happiness is a U- shaped graph across the span of life. It decreases in the late teen years and continues till the 40s. It starts to increase again in the 50s. It is not a universally accepted standard, however. But it suggests that midlife crises can be one reason for this decreased happiness level.

A Quick Definition

A midlife crisis is a period of transition and change that usually occurs in the age group between 40-60. It is a psychological crisis and an emotional phenomenon. It is due to the fear of old age and mortality. Through their teen years, people are relatively free from the world’s worries. By their 50s or even 40s, they start reflecting on their lives. This reflective thinking can disturb people and produce feelings of sadness and remorse. It can be due to a lack of accomplishments, the loss of someone or a change in lifestyle.

It is like coming out of a state of inertia. An object tries to resist the change, and then change becomes the new state of inertia. A midlife crisis is usually caused when people expect something eventful in their midlife. This event is generally seen in a negative and stressful way. This expectation is a cause of severe disappointment to many individuals. Individuals associate this disappointment with failure. This results in an anxious state which builds remorse. Fear of humiliation can cause more stress and might add up to the crisis as a whole.

According to a study by Vaillant, a midlife crisis borders on the line between being an experience and a social construct. It can last from 3 to 10 years in men and 2 to 6 years in women. It affects both men and women but with different stressors. For men, it is more likely to occur due to work-related issues. For women, it is usually due to their evaluation of themselves. Experiences may also differ because of how people respond to emotional problems.

What are the Signs and Symptoms?

As a concept or a condition, a midlife crisis is a challenging idea to describe. It is because individual experiences differ.

Both Jackson and Dr. Wetter approve of this idea. It is also a difficult concept for researchers. Most researchers disagree on what it comprises as its features. The research also depends on individuals who define crisis in different ways. Fear of mortality is usually thought of as the reason behind it.

But there are other causes for the same. The emotional condition of the people going through it differs from others. Some people may express discontent with minimal outward signs, while others develop coping strategies. These coping strategies can be harmful to people. They may damage people’s mental health. They may also affect relationships and other endeavors.

Some signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis are:

• Change in lifestyle on a big scale. If people move from one place to another, it might affect them negatively.
• Anxiety
• A sudden career change may also cause changes in lifestyle.
• Behavioral change, along with impulsive and anti-social nature.
• Mood changes
• Depression
• Depressing or traumatic reminiscences and reflections about past events and memories, former adventures.
• Humiliation and low self-esteem.
• Embarrassment in the past relationship (infidelity, cheating).
• Indecisiveness
• Anger-related issues, boredom, nostalgia, guilt, regret, and no sense of purpose.
• Financial problems and excessive expenditure.
• Dysfunctional marital status, dysfunctional family.
• Diseases
• Fiscal constraints, making future plans involving decision-making and traveling.
• Starting a new practice, adopting a new religion, converting, or beginning a new way of life.
• Remorse for past mistakes and failures.
• Disruption of sleep schedule and pattern.
• Weight loss and weight gain.
• Rejection of routine and mundane activities.

The primary issue that results in a midlife crisis is fixation. This fixation is of a specific kind. It could be about something that happened — an event, an accident, or a person, it could be anything. Individuals may feel that nothing in the present makes a lot of sense — a kind of purposelessness.

While the fixation is on something in the past, people look forward to better times. It creates a tension between the uncertainty of the future and fixation on the past. This tension can create a very depressing state for individuals. They might try to build something meaningful in their lives. It could be a healthy bond with oneself or a new way to approach life for the rest of the day.

Common Causes

Many things can trigger a midlife crisis. These factors can be an event like the death of someone, divorce, a fallout in friendship or loss of purpose. Jackson, a licensed therapist, suggests that outward and external changes accompany a change in identity. It may also be due to a change in one’s position in a relationship. Women may experience it because of changing roles. Some people start looking after their parents in a much more profound way.

Aging has a part to play in this process. The greying of hair, loosening of the skin, and similar physical changes may contribute to it. Standing in front of a mirror becomes difficult. Some people develop diseases, and they observe a loss of physical capabilities.

At this stage, people start noticing new patterns in their lives. They have different sets of responsibilities. Most people have kids who are in their teens. This may also affect their emotional stability. Looking at one’s kids in the most energetic stage of life is a very impactful event. It makes them reflect on their teen years and their decisions. People start thinking about the ‘what ifs,’ and poems like “The Road not Taken,” by Frost, may become a realizable fact of their lives. ‘

The past becomes a point of action that has led to the present. It calls for a lot of thinking. People think about their unfulfilled dreams and career opportunities that they declined. This reflection is not just restricted to the melancholic side of nostalgia. It also involves thinking about good times and good memories. Some people who do not have regrets about any past decisions may not experience a midlife crisis at all. Some that do may go through various intensities of the same.

People who focus on their life goals and the future may occupy themselves. They may take up an activity, set even bigger goals and go ahead with positivity. But this can also be harmful because the fear of failure might result in exhaustion and working more than physically possible. A midlife crisis is about change and is in itself a change. It can turn out to be more stressful for some than others. It can turn out to be a starting point of yet something fruitful as a result of people’s search for meaning.

How Long Does it Last?

There is a scarcity of scientific literature on this subject. Individuals differ in their lifestyles and ways of living. It implies that the duration of a midlife crisis may differ for different people. Some people begin questioning their lives in their thirties, and some do it as late as in their 60s. People who experience this early have the advantage of changing their lives early. By the time they reach their 50s, they may be at a comfortable point, emotionally and financially.

Men experience midlife crises for anywhere between 3—10 years. On the other hand, women may experience it between 2—5 years. This difference, on the level of gender, can be because of menopause. It is one of the main stressors in women to cause this condition. In men, hormonal imbalances may also result in the same, but it is less clear. For men, a perceived loss of youth and juvenile freedom may be a cause. In any case, it can start at any point in one’s midlife and end at any point.

When to Seek Help

A midlife crisis is not a measurable or classified medical condition. The problem is, how does one treat something that lacks an objective definition and even a definite cause? But the number of people who seek help is numerous. Therapy is a great way to help individuals with this issue. It helps them handle their moods, emotions and failing health in a better way.

One must seek help only from licensed medical professionals. This may help reduce the chances of impulsive outbursts and breakdowns. It starts with assessing one’s condition in life. If you are hurting and your circumstances are taking a toll on your well-being, you should go ahead with therapy. Here are some of the things that you can talk about with your doctor or therapist:

• Your work does not allow you to sleep properly. It affects your sleep schedule and appetite.
• You may be unable to concentrate on your priorities and feel down because of distress.

Get Started With a Trusted Therapist With DocVita Today

You may be feeling alone and finding it difficult to talk to someone about your issues with a midlife crisis. You must put your trust in the company of professionals who deal with people with this condition. You can find dedicated and trusted therapists on DocVita. Schedule an appointment with our counsellor for help and guidance on this.