If you don’t remember the last time you made a decision without a lot of back-and-forth mulling. Or if you experience stress and anxiety every time you are asked to pick your way between two options, cease to fret amigo, you are not alone!
The fear of failure, or bearing the consequences of wrong decisions, can serve as a deterrent in the process of working through the maze of choices that meet us at every crossroad in life. However, decision-making skills can be worked upon, much like the rest of the kinks in life, with some help.
In the following blog, we seek to effectively enhance decision-making skills by decoding the root causes of indecisiveness, ways to build confidence, trust your gut, and reduce stress stemming from indecision. Let’s hit the throttle, then!
What Causes It?
Remember, as a child, your parents probably picked out your clothes and snacks from the supermarket, and your mom would know exactly what to tell the doctor when you fell sick. These small instances ultimately molded you into the adult who probably still hesitates while booking an appointment with a health care expert or letting someone else order off the menu for them.
As illustrated in the simple example above, indecisiveness can have multiple causes. These could range from psychiatric reasons such as a repercussion of depression, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), to neurological factors as well as the paradox of being spoiled for choice! Let’s delve into them one by one.
Indecisiveness goes hand in hand with depression to the extent that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) enlists the condition of trouble making decisions as a symptom of major depressive disorder. The reasons can be manifold. Those struggling with depression already feel indifferent and hopeless toward most things in life, as if nothing holds meaning any longer; thereby, they don’t feel drawn toward any option in particular. Secondly, depressed individuals are more likely to struggle with the fear of coping with the adverse effects of wrong choices and wrong decisions since they are already buried under a flood of negative feelings.
Anxiety and indecisiveness also witness a two-way route. This can be traced to the high connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala (the region responsible for mediating anxiety and fear.) When you are already anxious about your career choices after grade twelve, you may recollect breaking out into bouts of cold sweat when asked to choose an academic stream. Since the stream you choose has a significant bearing on the career options available to you after school, you may experience anxiety at the prospect of making such an important decision.
There is also a link between those who experience symptoms of OCD and have trouble making the right decision. Those who display irrational thoughts, a tendency for excessive orderliness, and fears that have no basis in reality, resulting in compulsive actions such as repeatedly checking the locks on the doors, washing a body part, etc., are said to have obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD. Such people display a marked inability when asked to make decisions because of the fear of uncertainty.
Parenting styles can also affect an individual’s ability to make decisions for themselves in the coming years. Not surprisingly, childhood trauma can also affect decision-making skills, as it is known to alter brain activation patterns associated with decision-making. Interestingly trauma is not the only factor resulting in an indecisive adult; those with strict or authoritative parents are also known to play a role.
Have you heard the phrase, “being spoiled for choice”?! Yes, the paradox of having too many options to choose from can also impair decision-making. Ask any homemaker the most challenging choice they have to make during the day, and the chances are high that they will struggle with the eternal question, “what should I cook today?” not just once but thrice a day. Catering to the desires of each family member, along with the groceries in stock, can put many of us in a fix. Imagine having to deal with that daily!
Now that we are familiar with the causes of indecisiveness let’s explore tried and tested ways to overcome the dilemma of choosing the best option or making the right decision.
1. Trust Your Gut
That wave of relief that passes over you after you stop entertaining a certain someone you didn’t feel good about, or the “inner voice” that tells you to stay on the current path despite external resilience, doesn’t stem from your gut as the age-old adage goes. Let’s briefly peek into the physiology behind the phrase “trust your gut.” A term that denotes the connection between the brain and the gut is called the gut-brain axis.
The gut is home to around five hundred million neurons connected with the brain through the nerves in our nervous system. One of the biggest nerves is the vagus nerve which connects the gut and the brain and sends signals bi-directionally. Interestingly, neurotransmitters such as serotonin (responsible for promoting feelings of happiness) and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA, accountable for reducing feelings of fear and anxiety) are also produced by the microbes residing in the gut.
Thus, we often experience gastrointestinal distress such as stomach pain, nausea or stomach cramps whenever we don’t feel right about a particular situation or person. That feeling of unease or emotional discomfort is our body’s way of averting potentially dangerous situations. So, as backed by science, always trust your gut!
2. Let Go of the Fear of Making Mistakes
It is an integral part of human nature only to present our best work and make the best decision in every field. But let’s face it, it’s okay to meet failure, and it’s perfectly normal to end up feeling like you could have made a better decision. Every little or big decision we make is an opportunity to learn from and grow.
Thus, it is imperative to give yourself a kind and compassionate environment where you build trust in your ability to learn from the outcomes of poor decisions or mistakes and to acknowledge the times when you made a good decision. This simple yet powerful practice can become the stepping stone to getting rid of the anxiety and hard time associated with decision-making and help you get back in the driver’s seat of your life, where you belong.
After making a choice, analyze the outcome and try to learn from your mistakes instead of blaming yourself for putting the wrong foot forward. Many of us face analysis paralysis resulting from overthinking or over-scrutinizing a problem or situation. This translates into delayed action or inaction, which may lead to missed opportunities. The fear of facing the consequences of wrong decisions is also at play here. However, it can be tackled by prioritizing your work list, narrowing your options, and automating decision-making by using freely available apps that help you organize your tasks by priority and due date.
3. Build Your Confidence
As mentioned above, giving yourself the chance and grace to learn from the outcomes of poor decisions instead of berating yourself constantly helps build your self-confidence, and you gradually learn to trust your intuition.
Begin with narrowing down your choices, prioritizing the ones that need urgent attention, and then go with the option that makes the most sense at that moment. Even if you get less than the expected results, you can always tell yourself that you tried your best!
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4. Write Down the Pros and Cons
Whenever we get stuck with decisions that seem like a life and death situation, we look up to the wisest people we know, and they often inadvertently come up with the same piece of advice, “Write it down, my child. Prepare a list of pros and cons, weigh the negatives against the positives, and see which favor the balance tends to tilt. Also, remember that there is no such thing as a life and death choice.” That is pretty sane advice, we believe!
There is a certain sense of charm and permanence in writing things down and not just envisioning a list mentally. When you write stuff down, you have everything in front of you for your perusal whenever you want to add or subtract something. It enhances the process of getting to the right decision with the right amount of thought.
5. Don’t Rush It
“Haste makes for waste” may be an old adage, but it still holds true when it comes to making the right decision. Though many associate good decision-making skills with speedy choices, research has a different story to tell. Innumerable distractions surround us in the current digital era, making it all the tougher for the brain to segregate the relevant data from the irrelevant ones. No, we are not asking you to procrastinate or delay making that decision.
All you need to do is pause and do nothing, albeit briefly. Jack Grinband, Ph.D., associate research scientist and assistant professor of clinical radiology at the Taub Institute, says, “Postponing the onset of the decision process by as little as 50 to 100 milliseconds enables the brain to focus attention on the most relevant information and block out irrelevant distractors.”
Researchers agree that giving the brain enough time to collect information helps enhance accuracy, which comes at the cost of longer reaction time. This is referred to as the “speed-accuracy trade-off.”
If you feel a certain sense of urgency in coming to a final decision, take it as a red flag because the chances are high that anxiety has kicked in. Excuse yourself and have a nap or go for a walk and give yourself the time to process all the information at your perusal. This will ultimately help you develop better strategies and achieve the desired results.
6. Consult With Loved Ones
Often in life, we encounter situations where our decisions affect us and others. In such cases, it makes sense to confide in or consult with family, friends and genuine well-wishers who can help us visualize the outcome from their perspective.
This should help make a more informed and well-rounded decision.
7. Avoid Perfectionism
RM Harrison, a business strategist, says, “We’re afraid we’ll fail and lose something — usually time, effort, and/or money — or we’re afraid we’ll succeed, not be ready for what happens next, and then fail,”
Some food for thought? Yes, we would say!
Bitten by the perfection mindset, most of us tend to overthink every aspect of the situation at hand, visualize the probable outcomes, and think about strategies to mitigate failure, if any.
It is a fact that errors and mistakes are an inextricable and inevitable part of the journey of life. They serve as learnings for the future; thus, it makes sense to give way to errors that happen inadvertently despite planning for everything and preparing for them as and when they arise.
Seek Help From a Trusted Therapist With DocVita Today
Making through life’s maze of curveballs, the best of us can struggle with feelings of anxiety. However, help is at hand. All you need to do is visit DocVita’s website and book an appointment with a professional mental health expert of your choice.
A dedicated care manager will be allotted to help you experience a seamless healing journey with the best mental health practitioners. You deserve to lead a happy and holistically healthy life, and seeking help in areas you could do with some guidance, is the first step toward it! Book yourself or a loved one an appointment now!