Toddlers between ages 1-3 are prone to exhibit temper tantrums that may vary from child to child. These toddler tantrums could come up in the form of displays of erratic behavior and outbursts. These emotional outbursts may range from mild to violent. Children resort to these tantrums when they find communicating their needs difficult. Your child may want to convey a certain want or need that needs addressing.
These temper tantrums are unpredictable, and it is necessary to understand them better. It can be frustrating not to know how to handle and communicate with your child during them. How you deal with temper tantrums reflects on your child’s growth as these tantrums are a part of your child’s growth. It helps foster a healthier relationship between you and your child. Effective handling of these tantrums helps set a precedent and not reward them. There might be some obvious ways to handle them, and some are best avoided. It is important to apply them according to the situation and be aware of how your child responds. In certain extreme cases, you might need to consult an expert.
What Causes Them?
Temper tantrums often result from the child’s inability to communicate. During the age of 1-3, children are still developing their communication skills and are not always able to do so. It may be an effort on their part to convey a certain need or want. These could be that they are hungry, uncomfortable, or sleepy. Children often desire objects that they might see and want them.
They might throw these when they do not get something they want or want to deflect your attention towards them. This could be their way of telling you they want a certain toy or food item they have seen. Temper tantrums might also be a way for your child to get your attention. Children at this tender age tend to want their parent’s attention and care for their needs. It is a crude way for the child to get what they want.
Temper tantrums can arise in the form of crying, whining, and screaming to kicking and throwing objects. All these are different ways a child might take to get your attention. A child might want to feel in control when throwing these tantrums as it allows them to make things better for them. When a child feels that they do not have control, they might have a negative reaction to their environment. As parents, it is vital to understand what a child might be feeling during these temper tantrums.
Ways to Handle Them
There are different ways you can go about handling these temper tantrums. You might need to understand what might be the root of the matter and then take appropriate action. There are immediate ways by which you can address the issue, like feeding the child if they are hungry. A tired child would need rest. These are simple solutions to common causes that might work for your child. Your child’s basic needs and tantrums may subside if you meet them.
Some of them are more complex as they might involve something a child might want. These could be a toy or some food, or anything else that catches their fancy. These are complex as you do not want to develop a pattern of rewarding your child with all their wants. A child might throw more pronounced temper tantrums for things they want. Sensitive handling of these might be difficult as it depends on your child’s setting and emotional state. To help you in these situations, here are eight tips on how to handle toddler temper tantrums:
1. Remain Calm But Firm
When your child throws a fit of temper, you need to remain calm. The tantrum might draw attention, and you might feel pressured to quieten your child immediately. Remain calm and try to communicate with your child to determine their needs. When the parent is calm, the child may feel more comfortable in its frenzied state and respond better. If you are not calm, the child might become more cantankerous. Try soothing the child as you bring down the energy. Rocking the child and gentle hushes might do the trick.
If the child is still in that state, you must stay firm. The child should understand your calmness for laxity. Effective communication with your child includes setting boundaries and rules for them to follow. You need not shy away from letting the child know that you will not take bad behavior. You can be strict without being harsh, and firmness is key in these situations.
2. Address it Immediately
A child exhibits a bad mood and frenzy to get your attention, so it is vital to address it immediately. It is not advisable to let a child be while they are throwing a temper tantrum. When you do not address it immediately, the child might feel isolated and not respond well to any communication down the line.
It might be difficult to immediately address the problem as you might be busy with work or chores. It is not difficult to let them know that you are there for them and reach out. You can go to them and address them while you finish up your other duties. This way, the child knows you have acknowledged their concerns and can pacify them until you can resolve the issue.
3. Let Them Be Upset
Another misconception is that you must make the child happy in these situations. While your child’s happiness is important, that is not always the ultimate resolution for such wobbly behavior. Temper tantrums for things they want are one case where letting them be upset might be okay. Rewarding them with a toy might seem easy in the short run, but it forms an unhealthy habit in the long run. The child might resort to them each time to get what they want.
As a parent, you must know where to draw the line. Sometimes you can give them what they want, but ensuring it does not become a habit is vital. Communicate that they might not get what they want this time and explain why it is the case. They might become upset, but you will have to set a boundary.
4. Try Not to Bribe
It is tempting to want to resolve the flare-up in a flash. Some parents resort to gifting candy or a flashy toy to calm the child. This is not akin to giving them what they want, as their concerns during these tantrums might differ. This is akin to bribing them with something they like and is not the way to go about it for two reasons.
First, you set a precedent where the child believes that throwing a tantrum might get them a treat. Second, the child may not be getting what they actually need, and as parents, you might end up neglecting those needs.
5. Distract Them
Distracting the child is an easy way to handle these tantrums. Their attention span is quite short, and certain things can easily take off their mind from what is annoying them. When you are in public, you might not have what the child needs on hand. In these situations, distracting the child by carrying them or using a toy to play with them may calm them down.
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6. Show Them Love
Showing your child love during these tantrums is perhaps the most important. Children feel vulnerable during these tantrums and need to know that you are there for them. When you show them love, they might feel less vulnerable and are more ready to accept the care you might go on to provide. Sometimes, their outburst is due to a power struggle. When you show them love, you are letting them know that you are not against them.
7. Take Them To a Safe Place
Handling a tantrum can be difficult in public. It can also be embarrassing, and that can make you react aggressively. On the other hand, giving in to a tantrum in public can encourage the child to repeat the behavior as they might perceive that as a leverage situation. If your child throws a tantrum in public, take them to a safe place.
This could be your car or a public washroom. Any place where your child can blow off steam while also offering you a chance to react in a better way is ideal. This gives you a better chance of maintaining your calm while explaining things to the child more personally. Soothe them and help them calm down while you are there.
8. Make Sure They Are Fed and Rested
A lot of times, these tantrums spawn from your child being hungry or tired. These could result from their way of trying to communicate to you about their needs and your inability to understand. You being unable to respond to what they are trying to say can cause frustration and annoyance.
To avoid this, make sure they are well-rested and fed. Even when unsure what they are trying to convey, offer some food and see how they react. Also, a well-rested baby is a lot less likely to get frustrated.
When Should You Get Professional Help?
Understanding that these are a normal part of growing up is important. They are as challenging for you as they are for your child. They also understand their emotions and learn how to react to the world around them. But if these persist or worsen after the age of 5-6, you may need professional help.
If you are struggling to cope with them and usually end up giving in, you should seek help from a specialist. Getting angry easily also signals that these are getting out of control and need medical intervention.
In some cases, the child may even inflict self-harm out of frustration. It may even cause bad feelings between you and your child. You should contact a child psychologist if you see signs of any of these.
Seek Counselling From a Trusted Therapist With DocVita Today
If not handled properly, these tantrums can escalate. The consequences could range from physical damage to a rift between you and your child. Usually, children grow out of them as they gain more self-control and maturity. But it would help if you didn’t let this temporary period affect your and your child’s mental well-being.
Schedule an appointment with our therapist and let them guide you on how to approach these in a better way. They will better evaluate the reason behind such behavior and rule out other chronic illnesses or health problems. With due attention and medical supervision, these can be easily resolved. Don’t let these grow and cause a breakdown. Act now by booking an appointment with us.